Thick and Thin

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise." James 5:13

This morning I had to go to the doctor's office to pick up the lab results that we will carry with us when we go back to Russia. On the way there, Flip was sitting in the back asking random questions like he always does in the car. I was answering them like I always do, in-the-car. And I started thinking about how sometimes God is so mysterious and at other times, He is so obvious. What has this all been about?

It occurred to me that I have been leaning on God so much more these past two years than I ever have in my 20 some-odd years of knowing Him. It also occurred to me that even still, when I have been riding the highs of this process, I have taken Him for granted. I have thanked Him casually and moved on. This morning the light came on. This has not been about bringing a little girl home. Although that is the end result, it hasn't been about that...

I would say that Adam and I have always been "pretty good Christians." For those who put us on a scale and measure us all on the good deeds factor: We have always been regular attenders on Sunday and Wednesday, worked in the nursery, served in AWANA, attended our ABF, occasionally sung in the choir and played in hand bells, given our tithe. We had an acquaintance with God. I kind of knew He was there and we talked like we were supposed to, sometimes I even listened.

This morning I realized that over the last two years God has been transforming our family and He has used a little girl on the other side of the world to do it. Adam joined a men's Bible study about the time we started all of this and it has had a profound affect on his walk with the Lord. As a result, his attitude around the house and in everything , most importantly, our family's walk has changed for the better...our acquaintance with the Lord has deepened into a relationship that grows each day...and looking back over this time I realize that this is what it has been about. Teaching us to lean on him in the good and the bad because it so easy to forget that He is the reason for the good.

Who flipped the switch? I had been riding the high of knowing that we had submitted 95% of the documents we needed for court while we were there to expedite trip two and then I talked to our FC. We are still waiting on 2 docs that are completely out my control...and so, I turn back to God. I woke up a 2AM and could not get back to sleep...I just can't turn it off. So I start talking to God..."God, please let those documents arrive soon." And in the course of the conversation, I realized I was telling Him how to do His job again when He has never left His desk. Each time I go there...forgetting to lean, telling Him what to do, I am knocked down a peg. You'd think I'd learn.

So, today I thank God the sun came out and the light came on! I am turning it all over to God, again:0) I am casting my burdens on Him! It feels good.