Life Without the Void

Once the babies were gone from us, we were taken into the director's office. It was a nice room...looked like it could be in any American office building. The four of us sat down and they started with us...told us she had gained another pound and that she seemed completely healthy. Any concerns they may have had regarding anything to do with her health were no longer an issue. They gave us more information about her parents including their names and her full name. They also showed us more pictures of her and asked to see pictures of our family. They were very excited over the photo album I made online...I would have loved to have seen their reaction to one of my scrapbooks. When they were finished they allowed us to ask questions and then moved on to the other family.

That first night, we ate at a little pizza place called California pizza. It was the Russian version of American pizza...does that make sense? It wasn't American but they think so, we let them think it:0) It was good. We went back to the hotel and we slept. Adam slept very well, I was up at about 2 AM and that was it for me for the night. We were picked up at about 8:30 in the lobby and our first stop on this morning was the orphanage.

Again they brought her in and just handed her off to me and left the room. She seemed pretty comfortable but again needed time to warm up to Adam. She was wearing a little blue dress that was a bit too big but it was again ironic to me that they felt they needed to present her to us. She looked adorable in the blue...her eyes are like huge pools. If you have seen the pictures, you know. Anyway, we snuggled for a little bit and then I tried to move onto the floor and get her interested in some toys...no go.

Right about now, they came in to tell us that they would have music classes in the room and that we needed to stay on the other side. So, we got up and moved! They were so cute! The little girls had so little hair and such enormous bows! They sang and danced while one of the nannies played the piano and 3 more showed them the hand movements. This was both good and bad. While we enjoyed being able to see this part of her day in action, it was a distraction for her and she was preoccupied with watching the older kids sing and dance.

She did finally take a bite of one of the fruit snacks...I snuck it into her mouth! Once she had that first bite, there was no going back. She polished off three snack bags! We got great pictures of her with her cheeks stuffed full of them. We again played the "shoe on/shoe off" game. She loves to have her feet touched, tickled and rubbed. I got her to giggle this time by pulling her close to me and then letting her fall back quickly. We got some great shots of her smile. Our time was up too quickly and again they came in a got our babies before I was ready. This time, it was a "so long for now." I thought I would be ok and I am but I confess I cried a bit off and on for the next few days. It just didn't seem right to have to leave my child there; To have her taken from my arms and be dismissed.

These next few months will be filled with celebrations of Christmas and birthdays, a new year, our anniversary and Valentine's day. All the time there will be someone missing from the pictures and my heart longs to fill that void. Please be in prayer with us over the next month that our documents will move smoothly through the process, that they will accept them and not ask for more. That we will receive a quick court date and bring our daughter home...and mostly, that God will receive all the glory.

Looking forward to celebrating a birthday on March 31...without any voids.