Thursday, March 27, 2008Long Version: We have had two post-court visits with Vika…it is extremely difficult to bond with her in that setting. The other couple that is traveling with us is also in the room while we are visiting with her and he too is crying and yet when the nannies come into the room, they hone in on her and they start their goo goo ga ga talk to her and pick her up…When our facilitators are in the room, they put a stop to it by telling the nannies to ignore her so that she can seek comfort from us but they are not always in the room as they try to leave us alone with the children and often have to conduct other business while at the baby home. So, today we contemplated skipping the rest of the visits…it seems to cause her so much anxiety and we get extremely frustrated with the workers who constantly come to her “rescue”…it becomes more evident each day that she lives by a different set of rules than the other children in the home…she is allowed to tell the nannies no, and does…
Anyway, our facilitators continue to assure us that once the children are back at the hotel with no one to help her but us, the real bonding will begin. They say they have seen children cry and carry on much worse than our little “princess” and do remarkably well with their parents.
I have picked up a little bit of Russian in hopes of being able to comfort her some. Once we are out of here, I think things will settle way down. Hearing the Russian and the English is confusing, I’m sure…plus, they keep telling her we are her mama and papa and all she hears is, “their names are mama and papa”…she has no concept of parents and even if she did, she might wonder why we only come see her for two hours/day??? One more visit this week and then we start fresh on Monday!
Although it was snowing in Moscow when we landed there, the weather in Siberia has been beautiful and we have not needed our coats outside until today…It started snowing first thing this morning and did not let up until about 3PM this afternoon. I am having no trouble sleeping now that court is over, I am just doing it at all the wrong times:0) Adam seems to be requiring less sleep although I am sure it will catch up with him eventually.
So, that’s all for now…
Short Version: visiting, sleeping, eating Russian cuisine…hope the weather turns again so we can get out and see the sights while we wait.
9 comments:
Oh Lori! How frustrating! Hang in there. I'll be praying for you.
Blessings,
Lyn Franks
It will get easier every visit. Just hang in there...your 10 days will go quickly for you both. Good luck and congratulations on your new addition.
I'm so proud of you and Adam~~for so many reasons~~most of all because you have both kept God at the center of EVERYTHING. I know it hasn't been an easy road. Of course He never promised us it would be~just that He would always be with us. She sounds wonderful and fun and a bit of a stinker. She'll fit right in!! We will continue to pray that all the worries will be swept away and that the visits with your daughter (doesn't that sound wonderful?!) will only get better each time. We love you all!!
Love, Aunt Jacki and Uncle Rick
Congratulations on being approved in court!! That is wonderful! It is so hard to relax until it is over, and I'm glad you are able to rest now. I hope your visits with Ellie get better-I'm sure that is frustrating. Maybe they'll let you have a few visits where they leave you alone in the room. We've noticed the more we visited our son, the more they let us hang out with him without watching over us. Hang in there! Very soon you will have her to yourselves, and she will know who "mama" and "papa" are! By the way, from her pictures, she looks just beautiful!
We'll be praying for bonding. As frustrating as that must be, she did pick out of a line-up as "Mom", so you guys are getting through to her!
Lori, as I have been repeating to myself over and over "All in God's perfect timing"
Hang in there it will all work out. You know she is your daughter and she will know you as her mama and papa.
Hang in there...I love just having your blog up and listening to the great music.
Hey! How is life in Siberia? The view from the window looks VERY familiar. We were told, by Serge, that in two days time our son would be a different baby. He was right. We didn't have to deal with caregivers in the room, which was nice. Monday is a new day! Sunny and cold here at home, rain again tomorrow. P.S. could go for a swim in the river:)
Congratulations on your court hearing. I'm so excited for you. Sorry it has taken me so long to post. I'm so excited and happy for you and your family.
Your daughter looks cute and I love the pigtails. Looking forward to seeing her face soon.
Our transition has been a little hard once home with so many wanting to talk, hold, give presents, etc. I see you are already seeing that with Vika having the caregivers interupt your visits. These children do not understand mom and dad and need time to bond with us. It does take time. I'm just glad we can all go to one another for support during the process.
So glad your time in Russia is going well!
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