Feeling a Little Woozy

I'm home! It was a long day of travel and trying to stay awake so I could sleep when I got home last night...I did it! Got into my home around 10pm last night and after spending sometime talking to my husband, I dozed off somewhere between 11:30 and midnight and I am up this morning but looking forward to a nap:0)

Here's what happened:

When I got to Atlanta (going over) I found my gate for Moscow and waited for my friend Debbie to arrive. When she got there we went and got some lunch and then waited for our flight. We just sat and talked...compared info from our agencies, speculated on court dates etc. The flight over was pretty uneventful and not full so I had an extra seat and was able to stretch out although sleep was elusive. In Moscow, we had a 10 hour layover. We spent this layover in the domestic terminal and for those of you who have been there, I don't need to say any more but we had such a fun time people watching! I haven't laughed so hard in a very long time!

The flight from Moscow to Kras was sweltering! The plane was brand new but apparently, they don't want to ware out the A/c so they blew hot air on us the entire 5 hours and we were nauseous by the time we arrived but on the bright side, when we got off the plane the -10 temp was a blessing! Our driver's were right there! And, they were very impressed with our packing:0)

We got to the hotel and had lots of time to relax. We showered, took a little nap and then hunted for food. Debbie showed me how to walk to the grocery store and we found Nick's patio and ate there...it was funny! We just walked down the line and pointed like idiots and when we sat down realized there was no way we were NOT going to be hungry when we finished eating! Oh Well.

We were picked up at 3:00 to head to the orphanage. Because of the first trip, I expected to spend 3 days of total bliss just holding and playing with my daughter. She had other plans and made them known from the moment I set eyes on her. This first visit was so stressful. She cried as soon as they brought her into the music room. I think they had pulled her away from her food as when her head was thrown back in a full blown scream, I could see pieces of food in her mouth. Probably not the best way to promote friendly feelings..."We are going to take you away from this food that you don't get much of to begin with so you can go see this lady you barely know." The nannies would not leave the room so that I could just hold her until the crying stopped. They kept her in their arms and kept coddling her. I was able to hold her some for about the last 15 minutes but she was still extremely cautious. We played with the puzzle I brought for her and she again demonstrated that she is very smart! I went with it and was not at all upset (other than at the nannies for not giving me the chance to sooth her myself) I walked away, relieved to see that she is extremely attached to a few of her caretakers and this is indeed a very good sign. At one point during the visit she yelled out "puzzle!" which was funny because I asked, "what did she say?" and our driver laughed and said, "puzzle, do you not know this word?" Apparently, it doesn't translate:0)

On day two, we started pretty much the same but this time they took me down to the children's playroom. OH-My-Goodness! 15-20 of the cutest most pitifully dressed but sweetest children I have ever seen are standing around in this room the size of an American bedroom with about 20 plastic rings and legos to share. They are not wearing diapers under their clothes...when they have an accident, they just change the pants...cheaper than diapers...so there is a smell to the room but I got right down on the floor and they swarmed around me like a pinata had burst! I pretty much avoided Ellie at this point and played with the other children in hope that she would see that I am not a threat. She watched me cautiously and did come over and sit and play with me for a bit but she cried every time one of the caretakers left the room. She smiled and walked over to give me a hug before I left so I felt this was some progress and requested that we start in the children's room the next day...request granted, or so I thought.

On day three, we had a morning visit. We left the hotel at 8am and I felt sick to my stomach. It was the last day I was going to be able to spend with her and I just wanted it to go well. When we got to the orphanage, Debbie and the other family were directed to go up to the music room and wait for their kids and I was escorted to Ellie's playroom. She wasn't there. She was in the music room...so we walked there. She was already crying when I walked into the room so I know it wasn't me...the room must freak her out. I left my stuff there and we walked back down to the playroom. It only took about 15 minutes for her warm up to me and she was no longer watching the nannies for their every move. There was one little boy in the room who was fascinated with me and he kept nudging his way in between us or sitting on my lap...so cute! They eventually had to put him in a play pen so I could focus on Els because I was splitting time with the other children. This day was wonderful. I held her freely and we laughed, she talked, I fed her her snack, we played and looked out the windows...she was completely comfortable and even turned to me for comfort when our driver came in to get me (a man). I got to see her personality for the first time and let me tell you, she is strong-willed but fun and very social once the guard comes down. I also had an extra hour this day because one of the families was celebrating a birthday and they forgot to bring Debbie's daughter in so they gave her extra time!

My camera was never in the same room with me so I came home with only 3 new pictures of her but lots of memories.

Our facilitator in Kras gave us complimentary tickets to the ballet at the opera house which sits just outside our hotel. No windows in the building, only heat. It had been 3 very emotionally draining days and I was tired and hot so I had to fight to stay awake but I was glad we went...it was very nice and my first time ever seeing a ballet. Saturday, we wandered the city a bit and then returned to the hotel for a girly movie marathon on the laptop.

Did I find out anything while I was there, you ask. Why, yes, I did.