Gifts for My Maker

In this season, we go out and buy gifts for everyone on our list...but do we stop to think about what we can give to our maker? My friend Heather sent this to me and I wanted to share it. You can always count on Max to put things in perspective...I hope it makes you think...Lori

Following the Star

by Max Lucado

Suppose you could give a gift to Christ, what would it be? How could you possibly select a gift for the One who not only has everything, but who made everything? The Wise Men did. They can be an example to us. In addition to the gold, frankincense, and myrrh, they gave the Savior some gifts we can give him today: their hope, their time, and their worship.

The wandering wise men gave Jesus their hope. When everyone else saw a night sky, this small band of men saw the light. The sight of the star sparked a desire in their hearts that send them packing. They went, seeking Jesus.

When night comes to your world, what do you see? The darkness or the stars? Hopelessness or hopefulness? Sometimes, just as he did so long ago, God uses the darkness to reveal his stars--"The light shines in the darkness" (John 1:5). Give God your hope for Christmas.

While you're giving, give God your time. The wise men did. Before they gave God their presents, they gave their presence. It's likely that these men traveled as long as two years before locating the prince of heaven. Before that one incredible moment when they knelt before Jesus, the wise men spent many moments, months, perhaps years searching, in anticipation of that meeting.

Just as the wise men devoted themselves to seeking the Savior, so can you: "You will seek him and find him when you seek him with all your heart" (Duet. 4:29).

And when they did find him, the wise men gave Jesus another gift: their worship. Men of wealth, influence, and intellect: what did they do when they saw Jesus? "...they fell down and worshiped him" (Matt. 2:11)

Worship. It's a gift that extends to the giver as well. Through worship, we come to see God more clearly. God invites us, through worship, to see his face so he can change ours. In worship, we simply stand before God with a prepared and willing heart and let God do his work. And he does. He wipes away the tears. He mops away the perspiration. He softens our furrowed brows. He touches our cheeks. He changes our faces as we worship. The wise men sought the child of God, just as God seeks his children. "The Father is actively seeking such people to worship him" (John 4:23).

The gifts of hope, time, and worship. Three gifts the wise still give.From One Incredible Moment:Celebrating the Majesty of the Manger Copyright (J Countryman, 2006) Max Lucado

One down...

One to go...We got our Petition to Court! This means we can file for a court date! We still need the Child Protective Services letter (before we travel) so keep praying for that! Once again God knew I needed this at just this moment...My girl, Dinah knows what today has been like...I literally got off the phone (crying, surprise) with her and there it was in email! I have just been feeling so emotional and frankly, overwhelmed. I am usually so organised...would likely have 95% of my shopping finished by now. We were hanging lights outside at 11pm last night! This just doesn't happen with me! Ok, I admit, I was not going to do anything but the tree this year but for some strange reason, I just felt like this was the year we all needed a little more! So, there are lights and bows and wreaths gracing the front of our home and I confess that when I pulled in the driveway this afternoon, it was a welcome sight! Thank you, Lord...for everything you have done and everything you are about to do!

Logan, the Sky Angel Cowboy!

Adam forwarded this to me today and I sat and cried for a good five minutes after listening. It made me realize that God understands being separated from a child. And to think, He did it for you, and for me.

Wonderland

No, not Alice...Just me wondering:

I am full of questions and at a point where I wonder what is the point in asking? Our Agency had "several" court dates this past week but did not specify where and when. I thought I had heard that there were 3 in Kras but I don't know the specific dates for all of them or when the families traveled for the first trip...I don't want to know these things because I am nosy...I mean, I am but I really just want to know so I can see what the trend will be...what to expect for ourselves.

I wonder when we will get our Petition to Court...This little document is key to filing for a court date...although most of our docs for court are already in Kras, they will not issue a court date until we have submitted this. It has to come from the facilitator. Once we get it, we will fill in the rest of the info...notarize, apostille, yada, yada...

I wonder if there is any possibility for us to have her home before the projected 3-4 months...You know how they say, "time flies?" Try being in my shoes. On one side of the coin, I can hardly believe we are about to ring in 2008 and on the other I feel like April will never get here. I just want so badly for her to be home on her birthday, March 31. Not just home but settled.

I wonder if she remembers us...is the nanny showing her the pictures we left? Are they pushing the buttons on the bunny so she can hear our voices? Will she recognize me when next I see her?

I wonder if all the mothers waiting to bring their children home ache just the way I do? Does it hurt this much for all of us? Are they all as confused as I am?

I wonder if I will ever understand what the mother of this precious little girl must have suffered at the moment she signed her life away...could I ever be that selfless? Will she ever be the same? Will her heart ever heal?

Ok, you get it, I am sad today. We are one week home...it has been 9 days since I have seen my child. I continue to remind myself that the Lord has seen her through nine months of pregnancy and 20 months on this earth and that He continues to hold this child in His protection. She will be fine. But I wonder, will I?

This morning, one of the other waiting moms posted a verse...

"Ah, Lord God! Behold, You have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm. There is nothing too hard for you." Jer. 32:17

He's got it under control...no need for me to wonder.

It's Begining to Look alot Like Christmas

Well, we got the tree finished at about 11 PM on Friday night...so tired. It was fun though, it always is. The kids want to hang all of their ornaments and they all end up in one place...sometimes three or more to a branch so when they are done, I go and move them all around. Only one got broken this year, by me of all people and would you believe it was a new ball that I bought in Kras while we were there! SO glad we will be returning soon. I will just have to get a new one!!!

Everyone usually poops out long before the last ornament is on the tree so I end up finishing it by myself. This year, Ruthie hung with me to the bitter end. She is getting so BIG! I can hardly believe it is already eight years since she was born. Our tree looks beautiful this year...I am trying to picture it stuffed for four children next year, oh my goodness!

I ordered my picture ornaments on line this year and because we have pics of our girl, was able to order one for her also. That was pretty cool. I cried...surprise! They should be here this week and I can't wait to hang them up. I have all of the gifts for our parents bought, not wrapped; but I have not bought one thing, no not one for my children yet...YIKES! Is it really only two more weeks until Christmas?

The kids all had little Christmas shows this week...2 little songs each...literally ten minutes in and out but they were cute...especially Flip who really got into it this year and Rusty reminds me of Adam more each day...he had all the motions down for his songs but didn't want anyone to laugh at him so he was the ONLY one not doing them...but, he looked really cool just standing there:0) It's sad how early we become aware of the opinions of others. I hope I can find constructive ways of teaching my children not to care what others think but to be true to God and themselves.

Had our home study update Saturday afternoon. This went well and was actually kind of nice to sit and visit and tell her all about our trip and the baby. When she left we went to Adam's boss' house. They invited us for dinner to celebrate Ruthie's 8th birthday and she had a cake and cooked Ruthie's favorite foods. Her party is not until next weekend so this was nice for her. On Sunday, we ran from church to one of Adam's cousins houses to eat lunch and visit and then ran back to church...BUSY!

The most fun was Toys R US...every year we take the kids and wander the isles and they make their Christmas lists...Flip is so easy...cars this, cars that. Ruthie really looks at everything and picks carefully because she knows she will not get everything so after we're done, she ranks them. ( so her mother) Rusty, he wants everything and thinks it's no big deal because Santa makes it all and it doesn't cost him anything. I'm sure there are a few lessons that need to be learned there???? Who can dispute the magic of Santa? So, we are off and running toward Christmas, staying busy and trying to catch our breath. WOW, I really rambled and had no rhyme or reason to this post...oh well...I can't always be a poet.

I just know I am so thankful that we can celebrate the birth of our saviour...

Only cause my wife asked me to

Hello everyone. Adam here. I thought I'd fill in with some comic relief and a little more explanation of the less obvious parts of our trip. The only problem is, I'm not all that funny.

Let's start with the very beginning of our trip, a simple flight from Tampa to Atlanta. This a no brainer. You hop on a plane, sit for an hour and a half, get some peanuts and a soda, do a couple of "Easy" crosswords and word searches (because I can't solve anything harder), and arrive in Atlanta to prepare for the difficult flight. Easier said than done. About the time we get our peanuts and soda, we hear this really loud, weird noise. I thought nothing of it, I mean planes normally make loud, weird noises, don't they? Lori had caught a glimpse of the steward and stewardess though, and was sure that they hadn't heard that noise before because of the looks on their faces. I reassured her, and our new friend, a woman who was traveling to Atlanta on business that everything was fine. Our new friend doesn't like flying all that much, which doesn't make her all that much different from Lori. After the pilot informs us of a failure in the hydraulic system, she starts to wig a little bit. He reassured us that there was nothing to be alarmed about, and we still had 2 fully functional systems. 2 out of 3 ain't bad, right?

I wasn't worried at all, that is until we started our "final descent". I didn't realize how final this descent almost was. I have flown to Atlanta dozens of times and am familiar with the landscape around us when we land. Well, after several minutes, I never see what I expect. After we start to circle the same area for about the 3rd time, I start to get nervous. I am trying to stay calm for Lori and our friend, but I know something is truly wrong. The looks on the other passengers' faces only solidifies my fear. No one is calm. The stewardesses are nowhere to be seen, and we never get another announcement until we get on the ground. When we land, everyone applauds and cheers, this is when Lori STARTS to cry, after we are safe??? That "minor" hydraulic failure we weren't supposed to worry about had caused malfunctioning of our landing gear and ability to steer it. Who knows how they finally got the landing gear out. I pictured some guy down there kicking at it to try to deploy it. And the circling was to line us up just so, cause there was no steering us out of trouble. Alright, who's ready to board another plane now? Not me!

Well after that ordeal, it couldn't get any worse right? WRONG! All that circling made us over 45 minutes late getting to the gate. We had roughly an hour before our connector to Moscow left. These flights typically board 45 minutes early. Our plane has landed at the T Gates, and we need to get to the E Gates. It is 5,000 feet between these two gates, about a mile. No problem, we hop on the mass transit trains and poof, we're there in 5 minutes. So we're waiting in line to get on, and I hear over the loud speaker, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we apologize for the inconvenience, but the trains have been temporarily shut down."

Great. I look up to the countdown clock, though and it says we only have 2:15 until the next train. No problem. After sitting there for several seconds, I look back up and it now says we have 2:29 until the next train. Obviously, there is a problem. We don't have time to wait around so Lori, prepare to run a mile in record time in order to make our plane. As we take off, I hear a lady standing nearby protesting aloud how there is no way she can run a mile. Sorry lady, we can't piggyback you. We are both carrying loaded backpacks, mine weighing only about 60 POUNDS!! We are both wearing brand new boots too, mind you, and they certainly haven't been broken in yet. Off we go. It is roughly 1000 feet between each gate. We stop and look as we arrive at each gate, in hopes that the system is back up. No luck, the clock is still counting up. Several minutes later, we are sweating profusely, out of breath, and limping from the new bruises and blisters formed in our new boots. And to get a nice slap in the face, we spot that lady getting off the train right before we arrive there. Oh well, we make it for the final boarding call and are off to Moscow! WOO HOO!!!!

Stay tuned for the my next issue: Death by BO.

Looking Forward

My girl, Debbie encouraged me with a clip from "Facing the Giants." I thought I would post a song that always makes me feel better and never gets old. Isn't it wonderful to know that in our darkest, saddest, lowest points, and all the times in between, God is there to raise us up.

I'm taking a break from the blog this weekend...have to get the tree up and we have a HS visit on Saturday.

Standing on my God's shoulders and looking forward to all that He will do.

Thick and Thin

"Is any one of you in trouble? He should pray. Is anyone happy? Let him sing songs of praise." James 5:13

This morning I had to go to the doctor's office to pick up the lab results that we will carry with us when we go back to Russia. On the way there, Flip was sitting in the back asking random questions like he always does in the car. I was answering them like I always do, in-the-car. And I started thinking about how sometimes God is so mysterious and at other times, He is so obvious. What has this all been about?

It occurred to me that I have been leaning on God so much more these past two years than I ever have in my 20 some-odd years of knowing Him. It also occurred to me that even still, when I have been riding the highs of this process, I have taken Him for granted. I have thanked Him casually and moved on. This morning the light came on. This has not been about bringing a little girl home. Although that is the end result, it hasn't been about that...

I would say that Adam and I have always been "pretty good Christians." For those who put us on a scale and measure us all on the good deeds factor: We have always been regular attenders on Sunday and Wednesday, worked in the nursery, served in AWANA, attended our ABF, occasionally sung in the choir and played in hand bells, given our tithe. We had an acquaintance with God. I kind of knew He was there and we talked like we were supposed to, sometimes I even listened.

This morning I realized that over the last two years God has been transforming our family and He has used a little girl on the other side of the world to do it. Adam joined a men's Bible study about the time we started all of this and it has had a profound affect on his walk with the Lord. As a result, his attitude around the house and in everything , most importantly, our family's walk has changed for the better...our acquaintance with the Lord has deepened into a relationship that grows each day...and looking back over this time I realize that this is what it has been about. Teaching us to lean on him in the good and the bad because it so easy to forget that He is the reason for the good.

Who flipped the switch? I had been riding the high of knowing that we had submitted 95% of the documents we needed for court while we were there to expedite trip two and then I talked to our FC. We are still waiting on 2 docs that are completely out my control...and so, I turn back to God. I woke up a 2AM and could not get back to sleep...I just can't turn it off. So I start talking to God..."God, please let those documents arrive soon." And in the course of the conversation, I realized I was telling Him how to do His job again when He has never left His desk. Each time I go there...forgetting to lean, telling Him what to do, I am knocked down a peg. You'd think I'd learn.

So, today I thank God the sun came out and the light came on! I am turning it all over to God, again:0) I am casting my burdens on Him! It feels good.

Life Without the Void

Once the babies were gone from us, we were taken into the director's office. It was a nice room...looked like it could be in any American office building. The four of us sat down and they started with us...told us she had gained another pound and that she seemed completely healthy. Any concerns they may have had regarding anything to do with her health were no longer an issue. They gave us more information about her parents including their names and her full name. They also showed us more pictures of her and asked to see pictures of our family. They were very excited over the photo album I made online...I would have loved to have seen their reaction to one of my scrapbooks. When they were finished they allowed us to ask questions and then moved on to the other family.

That first night, we ate at a little pizza place called California pizza. It was the Russian version of American pizza...does that make sense? It wasn't American but they think so, we let them think it:0) It was good. We went back to the hotel and we slept. Adam slept very well, I was up at about 2 AM and that was it for me for the night. We were picked up at about 8:30 in the lobby and our first stop on this morning was the orphanage.

Again they brought her in and just handed her off to me and left the room. She seemed pretty comfortable but again needed time to warm up to Adam. She was wearing a little blue dress that was a bit too big but it was again ironic to me that they felt they needed to present her to us. She looked adorable in the blue...her eyes are like huge pools. If you have seen the pictures, you know. Anyway, we snuggled for a little bit and then I tried to move onto the floor and get her interested in some toys...no go.

Right about now, they came in to tell us that they would have music classes in the room and that we needed to stay on the other side. So, we got up and moved! They were so cute! The little girls had so little hair and such enormous bows! They sang and danced while one of the nannies played the piano and 3 more showed them the hand movements. This was both good and bad. While we enjoyed being able to see this part of her day in action, it was a distraction for her and she was preoccupied with watching the older kids sing and dance.

She did finally take a bite of one of the fruit snacks...I snuck it into her mouth! Once she had that first bite, there was no going back. She polished off three snack bags! We got great pictures of her with her cheeks stuffed full of them. We again played the "shoe on/shoe off" game. She loves to have her feet touched, tickled and rubbed. I got her to giggle this time by pulling her close to me and then letting her fall back quickly. We got some great shots of her smile. Our time was up too quickly and again they came in a got our babies before I was ready. This time, it was a "so long for now." I thought I would be ok and I am but I confess I cried a bit off and on for the next few days. It just didn't seem right to have to leave my child there; To have her taken from my arms and be dismissed.

These next few months will be filled with celebrations of Christmas and birthdays, a new year, our anniversary and Valentine's day. All the time there will be someone missing from the pictures and my heart longs to fill that void. Please be in prayer with us over the next month that our documents will move smoothly through the process, that they will accept them and not ask for more. That we will receive a quick court date and bring our daughter home...and mostly, that God will receive all the glory.

Looking forward to celebrating a birthday on March 31...without any voids.

Child of my Heart

So, a little more about our first visit...Vika looked like she had just woken up and she felt very warm. She also must have been very confused and so I just sat with her and we snuggled for about 30 minutes. During this time, the translator kept telling us we could play with any of the toys in the room. I just wanted to hold my baby. Adam took pictures and some video. When she started to stir, I tried to get her to play with some toys in hopes of Adam being able to inch his way over to her. She has had very little exposure to men and she was a little afraid of him. What finally broke the ice for him was the fruit snacks that we brought for her. I'm not sure that she knew they were food. She took them out of the bag one at a time and moved them into Adam's hand. Then, one at a time, she moved them from Adam's hand back into the bag. This happened about 20 consecutive times during which he was able to sit closely to her on the couch.

I had also brought a few outfits to try on her so we could get a feel for what size clothes we need to bring to get her home. She was so cute with this! It was very obvious that the kids are used to being dressed quickly and that they are expected to help with the process. I went to take her shoes off and she stuck her foot out and pointed her toe. So, I told Adam who was sitting across from us to help her change her clothes. She let him take off her shoes and her clothes and put the new outfit on her...by the way, she is 20 months old and the 12 month outfit fit her well with a little room to move. She is so tiny! Once we got her back into her dress, she kept sticking her feet out to Adam so the "shoe on, shoe off" game started.

Next we moved to the "bunny/bracelet" game. We showed her the bunny we made for her and she really liked it! She kept touching the arms and you could tell that her little mind was trying to figure out how that stuffed rabbit was talking like these two new people. It was very sweet. She also noticed my bracelet. The one I wear that has her name in the prayer box! I took it off and she held it for a good while and just looked at each little bead as if she herself were reciting the 23 psalm. I thought how special that she should be so attracted to the one piece of jewelry that had connected me to her during our long wait. All too soon our two hours was up and the nannies returned to collect our babies. She went willingly and my heart squeezed. She wanted to keep the bracelet and so I must get her one because it was the one thing that was mine that she wanted; even still, she already has my heart.